• Shiri Magar

Why Have I Waited So Long To Become Pregnant: Opera Career Thoughts

One of my teachers in college used to tell us that “babies are career poopers”.


During college and during my years as a young artists I used to hear quite a lot paraphrases along those lines:


“Once you have children your career is over”


“How would you travel with a baby?”


“First build your resume and your name, then you can start a family…”


”No one will hire you with a baby”




These phrases that were common sayings among educators and important people in the industry truly stuck with me.


I was scared to become pregnant, I didn’t want this massive change in my life and body to happen to me before I “make it” as an opera singer.

 

My best friend asked me on my 20th birthday


a question that haunted me for years:


“If you would have to choose between the most SUCCESSFUL SINGING CAREER and TRUE LOVE, what would you choose?”


My first instinct back then was to immediately reply:

Of course I would choose for the most SUCCESSFUL singing career.




Fast forward 5 or 10 years later… I was craving to SHARE MY OPERA CAREER PATH with a SPECIAL SOUL that will be there after the show is over, that will gently HOLD MY HAND in competitions, will gaze deep into my eyes, will cry with me and laugh with me no matter what happens, and one day… will create a family with me.



The question that haunted me about TRUE LOVE or a SUCCESSFUL SINGING CAREER was resolved when I was 30 years old and met Ran, who is the love of my life and the best companion to my journey.


However, motherhood, family, babies…

I tried to postpone those as much as I could. The thought of losing my career for a baby was daunting me.


 

And then… you know what happened?


At the highest peak of my singing career thus far… Covid 19 came to visit planet Earth. Everything came to a big PAUSE;


NO THEATERS, NO FLIGHTS, almost NO PERFORMANCES!


THE WORLD SHUT DOWN


And so…


In the middle of the pandemic...


I became PREGNANT.


It felt AMAZING. Being pregnant felt so natural to me.

My heart was expanding, as well as my belly…

And my voice.. Oh my God! I have never sung so well in my entire life.



 

Renée Fleming writes about singing while pregnant in her book “The Inner Voice”:


“The beauty of singing while pregnant is that the baby provides the support that the abdominal wall usually has to work much harder to offer. With pregnancy comes the lovely, buoyant pillow of a womb for the diaphragm to press against, which makes singing wonderfully easy up until the last few months, where there’s simply no more room for breath..”


In her book she titles the fifth chapter: “SUCCESS”.


This is where her career takes off, and this is also where she becomes pregnant with her first child, and makes her La Scala debut as Donna Elvira in Don Givanni right after giving birth to her first baby girl.


She writes about it later on:


“Having children has been an incredible gift to me… I feel tremendously fortunate to have both riches in my life: the satisfaction of a thrilling career combined with the sharing and unconditional love of a mother-daughter relationship. Amelia and Sage know without a doubt that they come first, but they can also see firsthand the joy I experience in my work”.


Thank you Renée Fleming for this wonderful book! I read it in different stages of my development, and it always sheds a BEAUTIFUL LIGHT on my path.

 

So why have I waited so long to become pregnant?


I was scared that I would not have time to develop my career, and that once the baby is here, my career will be over.


Now my baby is here, and I am OVERJOYED! I know and feel that this massive change is definitely for the better. Maybe I sleep less than I used to, and maybe I dedicate most of my time nowadays to taking care of my baby-girl. But soon enough I know that my JOY and BIG DREAMS will serve as a MAGNET to the BEST OPPORTUNITIES.


The Universe is listening.


There is time for everything.


No pregnancy, nor baby can “ruin” anyone's career. Only our fearful thoughts and voices from the past that become destructive beliefs can be in the way of the most beautiful natural creation.


Don’t be afraid, and don’t let anyone scare you.


Mantra for today: BABIES ARE CAREER BLOOMERS!